Debunking the Myths of Aging

Recently, my former high school literature teacher passed away. He was a burly, lumberjack type of man whose wise mustache and crazy hair was a combination of wisdom and lunacy that made all of us love him dearly. Upon hearing of his death, I spoke with a high school friend and asked if she had read his obituary. He must have been at least 70, right?

We grabbed our smartphones, tracked down the obituary that former classmates had already posted to Facebook and stared at his picture and birthday in utter shock – 56 years old. How could that be? That would mean that when he taught me 11th grade literature he was only 38? Not possible. That is just a few years away from the age I am now.

This revelation forced me to reevaluate my expectations and belief of age. Apparently, at the age of 17, I viewed a man in his late thirties as old. I see now that the word “old” is subjective and, for the most part, harshly categorizes people. Age is simply a number based on the years we have walked upon this planet. It is not an indicator of our abilities or our competency.

Just recently, I heard a heartbreaking story about a 78 year old woman who had been asked to leave her position at a local eatery ( a well-known chain throughout the country that at this time will remain unnamed). She had been a beloved employee at this restaurant, developing friendships with regular customers ages 2 – 99. Her kindness did not discriminate based on age, but her employer did.

When a regular customer came looking for the “adoptive grandmother,” as her boys called this woman, they were told that she had been asked to leave and was no longer employed. When the manager was questioned about the reasons behind the request, he simply shrugged and stated, “She is 78. It is time for her to enjoy retirement.”

Heartbreaking and assuming. Who are we to say that at 78, you are no longer vital to the workforce? Who has the right to determine your worth?

We have all been guilty of making assumptions about individuals who are older than us, but the myths of aging are unfounded. At the age of 30, you don’t automatically begin to gray. If you are 40, you don’t suddenly look horrible in a bikini. When you reach 50, a broad mind is not necessarily replaced with a broad middle typically associated with menopause. At the age of 80, you don’t necessarily lose cognitive function and need to be shuffled off to the nearest assisted living home.

Mr. Lord’s death shocked me in more ways than one. His death was a wake-up call to quit using age as a reason for not living life the way you want. We should absolutely never lower our expectations as we add more candles to our birthday cakes. We need to reject negative stereotypes associated with aging in order to treat everyone with respect, dignity and equality. We are as robust as we feel no matter our age. The power to be ageless is within us.