Dating Tips for Women that Actually Work at All Ages

January 30, 2013 by admin Leave a Comment

Dating is a time where you are excited and feel reinvigorated. However, there are ways to make sure that your dating journey goes a bit smoother because you surely have had some relationships in the past that you would much rather forget about. Like most things in life, dating is a science and there are formulas to making it a more enjoyable experience.

Make Your Independence Known

Making it known that a woman has a life is a true turn on to men. Women who are waiting for a man to get their life started are just not that appealing. Men want to know that you will not need them 24/7 and that you can land on your own two feet. You want to make this known without appearing pushy or over-confident, so it is a good idea to work in the things you do into the conversation. There is no need to bluntly tell your date that you in fact have a life.

Be a Lady

Men want a lady to develop a relationship with. This means that jumping into bed right away will work against you. Many experts suggests waiting a month to do the deed. This gives both of you some time to determine if the relationship is something that could work long-term. Having sex too soon could give the false impression that a relationship is good when it really is not.

Little Things do Count

Men like to see little things that show you care. This is the same thing that women want and one of the most overlooked dating tips for women. This shows that you listen to him and pay attention to what is happening in his life. Now, this is little things. There is no need to go out and buy season tickets to his favorite basketball team, though this would surely get his approval. Guys will appreciate something like making their favorite snack when they are working late in the home office, remembering how they take their coffee or knowing their favorite drink.

Routine and Comfort

Men want comfort and routine. When asking the question, “what do men want in a relationship,” this is probably the most simple answer. This is not to say that they are not adventurous and fun, but when it comes to a relationship, they want to know their role so that they can do it well. For example, if you are in charge one week and then expect him to take the reigns the next, this will not work. In a good relationship, each partner has a role and these roles are respected and known by each partner. Men do not want their relationship to be like work, but more of a thing that allows them to relax and be happy.

Appreciate Him

Men want to be appreciated. Ladies, when you are compiling your best dating tips for women, be sure to add this to the top of the list. This does not mean that you have to praise every little thing, but men have egos and feelings and these need to be tended to regularly. For example, if the guy you are dating does something that you love, let him know. A simple “thank you” or other easy show of appreciation is plenty. No need to rent a billboard because he remembered that you like two sugars in your coffee.

Filed Under: Relationships Tagged With: dating, relationships, women, women and men relationships

“I Do” Turns Into “I Give”

November 13, 2012 by Denise McGrail Leave a Comment

Charitable Wedding Trends Focus On Giving Back to the Community

Weddings are timeless affairs that are, for the majority of people, the largest social party they will ever plan or be a part of. The wedding industry earns billions of dollars every year from bridal gown purchases, catering services, DJ services, limos, photographers, videographers, florist. Do I need to continue? You get the point. A wedding is not only timeless, but costly.

Over the past few years, a new trend has emerged among engaged couples. Wedding industry planners are recognizing a shift in the focus being diverted away from the couple and redirected towards charitable causes . The bride and groom, once the center of attention, are now contributing to a more social conscious wedding by highlighting and giving back to their local communities with charitable weddings.

How Does a Charitable Wedding Work?

Charitable weddings are as unique as the individual couples saying, “I Do.”

Sarah Kingston of Grand Rapids, MI chose to give back to her local chapter of Autism Speaks by making a cash donation in each of her guests’ names.

I spent nearly a year planning my dream wedding. Wrapped up in all the minute and, at times, senseless details that it started to feel overwhelming. The final breaking point was when I spent nearly 3 days agonizing over the perfect favors to give to my guests. Then, a childhood friend of mine and I went out to lunch to discuss her life and what was going on with her five year old son who suffers from Autism. It was then that I realized I could do so much more. The answer was clear.

Sarah convinced a local chocolate shop to donate chocolate-dipped strawberries for each of her 100 guests. The money that she would have spent on the favors, she donated to Autism Speaks.

It felt amazing to know I had given back when I had spent so much time thinking about me, me, me and my wedding day. I would do it all over again and encourage every bride to consider doing the same.

If your budget doesn’t allow you to contribute to a special cause like Sarah did, you could also consider asking your guests to donate in lieu of gifts like Kay Middleton of Sacramento, CA.

This was my second marriage to a man who had been married before, too. We both had established homes with all the trimmings. Registering for gifts that we didn’t really need seemed ridiculous and pointless. So, we asked our guests to donate money to the animal shelter where we had adopted our Sheltie, Murray. We were able to raise just shy of $5000 for the shelter. Knowing we had given back to our community made our wedding memorable and special.

Do you think charitable weddings make sense? How did, or would, you give back to your community on your wedding day?

Filed Under: Relationships Tagged With: charitable weddings, wedding donations, weddings

Why You Need a Personal Website

October 9, 2012 by Denise McGrail Leave a Comment

Everyone reading this article has an email address. An email address is as common as a phone number, even more common than the almost extinct land line. In fact, Google alone, reported that they have over 425 million Gmail users as of June 2012.
You have the email address. You have the smartphone. You have various social media accounts. Do you have your own personal website?

Why Do I Need a Personal Website?

A valid question. The average person may question why they need to create a personal website when they aren’t selling or promoting anything. A personal website can become a hub, an internet home, for you and your family to share information. You can share pictures, events, calendars and journal entries. If privacy is a concern, you can create a personal website with private access only. A password would be required for anyone to view your information.

A personal website is also extremely useful for networking and job hunting. You can post your professional resume or CV directly online. No longer do you need to send attachments to potential employers. They can learn about your professional life directly from your website.

If you are a writer, a photographer, an artist, an architect or any other professional that requires a portfolio to gain employment, a personal website will allow you the opportunity to create a virtual portfolio to share with potential clients.

No Expert Programming Knowledge Required

Creating your own website does not require an in-depth knowledge of code, HTML or any other alien computer language. There are hundreds of companies that offer packages with pre-programmed templates that make updating as easy as updating your status on Facebook.

How Much Will a Personal Website Cost Me?

You can obtain a free website from numerous blog hosting companies like WordPress, Blogger or Weebly. The templates range from basic to advanced. If you want to jazz up your site you can upgrade for a one-time fee for a fancier template that offers more features. But for the average user the free templates allow you to create attractive, professional, easy-to-navigate personal websites.

Get Paid Being You

Personal websites can also make money. Do you have a niche or anticipate a large blogging audience? Your personal website can make you money by allowing ads to run on your site. There are a number of companies like Google Adsense and affiliates like Amazon that pay you for allowing them to promote their products on your site. Certain rules and conditions apply, but a personal website can be profitable.

Do you have a personal website? What do you use your personal website for?

Filed Under: Relationships Tagged With: personal websites

Boy or Girl. . . Hmmm?

October 9, 2012 by Denise McGrail Leave a Comment

Not Sure,Try These Baby Compliments.

Has this ever happened to you? You are minding your own business, maybe purchasing a bit of food at the grocery store so you can replenish your malnourished refrigerator, when you see the cutest bundle of joy happily sitting in their booster seat in the cart directly in front of you. You make googly eyes. You coo and beckon for the little one to imitate you. Lost in your own world of baby, you suddenly realize the baby’s mom or dad is watching you with guarded interest. Quickly, you pack away your gurgly baby sounds, smooth your clothing and prepare to compliment the mother on her beautiful baby boy. Only, hold up! Wait a minute! It’s not a boy, but a baby girl.

A decade ago it was easier to distinguish a little boy from a little girl; boys wore blue, girls wore pink. Not anymore. Determining the gender of a small baby is not as easy with an array of color choices available in clothing and changing attitudes that do not automatically assign gender based on color. Society is evolving and because society is evolving, refusing to categorize babies,it makes it difficult for well-meaning people to use the proper pronoun when commenting on how adorable Baby X looks when he/she is chewing he/she’s cheek.

What to do? This post is in no way political. I am not writing to discuss the societal implications that could result from classifying babies. Nope! If you are looking for that sort of wisdom, it is time to move on and turn on The View. However, I would like to offer you some go-to compliments that you can use anytime you are unsure of a baby’s gender. Feel free to write them down, bookmark this article on your smartphone or scribble these classic lines on your arm. Whatever works so that in the future you will be prepared and able to offer a compliment eloquently and, most importantly, without offending anyone.

1. Keep it simple

What a precious bundle of joy you have!

2. The double compliment.

How adorable. Your baby looks just like you.

3.The name angle.

Babies are precious gifts. What is your little blessings’ name?

4.Offer your own perspective.

I remember when my children were that little. Babies always remind you how fast time flies.

5.Honesty is still the best policy.

All babies look the same to me. Is your little one a boy or girl?

Have you ever felt embarrassed or chastised for assigning the wrong gender to a baby when complimenting them? Do you think we place too much emphasis on gender roles?

Filed Under: Relationships Tagged With: baby names, boy or girl, gender roles

How to Help Your Daughter Have a Positive Body Image

September 25, 2012 by Denise McGrail 2 Comments

In 1994, Mary Pipher, Ph.D. wrote an eye-opening book entitled Reviving Ophelia, Saving the Selves of Adolescent Girls.This novel addressed so-called “girl-poisoning” which, by unrealistic expectations of body image presented by the media and other outlets that subscribe to sexist thoughts, slowly and unintentionally, squelch and stifle the creative spirit of girls resulting in the erosion of self-esteem. Heavy stuff, huh?

When this pro-girl book came out in 1994, I was entering my senior year in high school. The age at which this book insisted that I was being pressured to be a size 2 (no, society didn’t enforce this requirement on me. Peer pressure did. Yes, I understand the idiocy of that statement, now). At 17, I wrote an infamous paper entitled, Oh God! Not Another Feminist (infamous because years later I worked in the social work field and voted Democrat). During the revival of Ophelia there was nobody on this green earth that could have told me I was making choices based on commercials, print ads, societal pressures. Nope, I was just being me. But now, nearly 18 years later and the mother of two daughters, I would like to smack my smug little teenage self and tell her to get a clue.

It Take a Village to Raise a Child

Truly, it takes a collection of individuals with varying degrees of experiences and wisdom to raise our youth. We find these individuals within our family units, at our daughters’ schools, in their extracurricular activities. The adults and our daughters’ peers form their opinions, their preferences, their stereotypes and their prejudices based on the hierarchy of social influence where the media resides at that top spot.

A 9 year old girl doesn’t naturally wake up one morning, point to her stomach and insist that she needs to sign-up for Weight Watchers. Nope. But a 9 year old girl who is influenced by a society completely saturated with pseudo-positive messages (eat this healthy cereal, so you can wear that and be liked and praised, loved and desired, blah, blah, blah. I mean who cares if it’s simply healthy for health’s sake?) is more likely to feel pressure to meet an expectation that is unrealistic.

How You Can Contribute to Your Daughter’s Positive Body Image

Reinforce that your daughter’s self-worth is NOT reliant on her looks. Everyone wants to feel great and look their best. But to place a greater emphasis on one’s appearance while overlooking achievements sends the wrong message. You do not need to lecture or present a manifesto on the evils of eye liner. Why? Because we were all 17 once and we know how we responded when our parents tried to reason with us (aka: shove their opinions down our throats). However, there are gentler tactics that parents can use to debunk media stereotypes.

Be a Sympathetic Listener

Acknowledge your daughter’s concerns. Do not dismiss comments such as, “I hate my curly hair.” “I can’t wear those red jeans because they make my thighs look big.” Statements like these are easy to set aside, but we have probably said the exact same thing. Ask her why she feels this way. Take the opportunity to tell her about times when you have felt insecure or less than the image of perfection.

Be Your Daughter’s Role Model

In my house the F-word is never used. While I have uttered the four letter F-word one too many times, I refuse to allow that nasty three letter word to fall from my lips. Fat. Your goal as a role model is to empower your daughter. If you take a bite of a brownie and complain that you will need to wear your fat jeans later, what message is that sending? Media does a wonderful job of sending mixed messages. As parents it is our job to keep the messages clear.

Stay Active Together

What better way to model a healthy lifestyle than by living that lifestyle together. Sign up for a dance class together. Challenge each other by signing up for a 5K race. Volunteer for an organization that gives back to the community and keeps you moving like picking up trash from the neighborhood park or participating in a community garden.

Nurture Her Spirit

Life will always deliver unexpected challenges. The three examples I just gave you are steps towards helping your daughter build her sense of self. A strong sense of self, knowing who you are and what you stand for, creates resiliency. When you nurture your daughter’s natural talents you build her resiliency. When life deals a raw hand or that ignorant boy down the street makes a comment about her “flat rack,” hurt and anger may be your daughter’s natural reaction, but knowing that she has a million beautiful qualities, inside and out, will help her release ugly comments instead of letting them define her.

How do you help your daughter have a positive body image?

Filed Under: Relationships Tagged With: body image, teenage girls

His Money and Her Money

September 24, 2012 by Denise McGrail 27 Comments

Why Separate Bank Accounts Keep Marriages Happy

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Twenty years ago when couples married, after the honeymoon, the first thing that newly married couples did was merge their assets. They opened joint checking accounts, saying goodbye to their premarital solo checking accounts. Today many married couples are opting to reconsider the so-called benefits of a joint checking account. With couples marrying later in life and beginning their life together as husband and wife with more money, more debt and more complicated financial situations the notion of sharing money may not be as appealing.

Eight years ago my husband and I severed our financial ties. We went from sharing a checking account to keeping our finances completely separate. At first I resisted this change because I didn’t initiate it. My husband did. He had grown weary of my spending habits. The fact that I was spending money on things that he believed were frivolous (seasonal towels for the bathroom) and leaving little money leftover for essentials (like bills) were a deal-breaker for him and were close to ruining our marriage.

The first year after this change was an adjustment period. More for me than him. I had been so used to relying on his paychecks to finance my shopping sprees that I suddenly felt desolate and poor. But then something unexpected happened. I realized that by having my own money, separate from his meant that I had more freedom. As long as I was using my own money, still paying the bills that I was responsible for, he couldn’t complain when I purchased a new pair of jeans or bought three pairs of shoes. On a more serious note, it also taught me how to manage my money.

Dividing the Costs

How does this work for us? We try to keep things simple and equal. My husband and I make roughly the same amount of money each year. So, we divide our expenses up as evenly as possible. We each pay for our own cars. He pays the mortgage. I pay the utilities and school tuition for our daughters. He pays the car insurance, the food costs and other incidentals that come up throughout the year.

Why It Works

Like I stated previously, this arrangement has taught me how to manage my finances. Growing up, I pretty much got whatever I wanted. When I became an adult I thought this was the way the world worked. Spoiler alert – It doesn’t!

Do you know why else this works? When I buy my husband a birthday gift or a Christmas gift, it actually feels as if I am giving him something. When we shared accounts he would always know how much I spent and vice versa. Because we shared the money it was essentially us paying for our own gifts. A trivial perk of having separate accounts, I know. But it is the little things that sometimes make the biggest impact in our lives.

The greatest benefit to our marriage by severing our financial accounts is that we rarely fight about money. Once in a while we may have to re-adjust our budget or switch around some bills and, in the beginning, someone would always feel slighted. But we worked through these feelings and our relationship is stronger than when we shared our money.

Do you believe a husband and wife should share their money? Do you keep separate accounts? Let us know your thoughts!

Filed Under: Relationships Tagged With: joint checking account, managing finances, marriage and money matters

Getting Married Too Young

September 19, 2012 by Amy Browne 3 Comments

Many girls get married to young, and there really is no reason for it. I was one of those girls who got married to early. How was I to know that fifteen years and three kids later I would find myself raising the kids on my own?

I suppose, I got married for many of the same reasons other women do. I had a child on the way and thought it was the best thing to do. I was very naïve but I did not think so back then. My first mistake was sleeping with some man I barely knew, I married him six weeks after I met him because our daughter was on her way. It simply was a classic case of ‘lust at first sight’.

What I should have done is simply really look at the pros and cons of getting married. Trust me the cons out weighted the pros but I simply wanted to be taken care of. I wanted adequate medical care and a bigger paycheck so I could raise my daughter in the way I knew she should be.

I did not think of love or keeping the relationship alive. I freely admitted, I did not love my husband when I married him. I simply wanted him to step up and take care of us.

Every marriage needs love or it will fail, that is a proven fact. Just look at the divorce rate, which is climbing with each year. Instead of getting married young couples who have a child together can simply live together.

Living together does not carry the stigma that it once did. This arrangement allows the couple to grow together and create strong bonds for each other and their child. The child can carry the father’s name if desired. This baby can know the love of both parents. Both parents can support, love and nurture the child on a daily basis. Truly, it is the best of both worlds.

Getting married because you are expecting a child when you are young is plain crazy. We may think we know what we want when we get married but most of us, who do marry that young, wake up one morning when we are in our thirties and realize we want out. How do we really know what life and marriage are all about when we are so young? If you expecting a child at nineteen and planning a wedding, please consider the alternatives before you make the plunge.

Filed Under: Relationships Tagged With: marriage, marriage issues, married young, teen weddings

Would you Adopt a Guy? The French Offer a New Way to Find Love

September 16, 2012 by Denise McGrail 1 Comment

Photo Courtesy of Yahoo News

Have you been searching for Mr. Right? Have you tried internet dating only to find your match made in heaven has an aversion to deodorant and an unhealthy interest in cats? Maybe you have enlisted the help of your friends only to find that they don’t know your wants as much as you thought or they just like to have a little fun at your expense. Well, if you are still searching for a companion to share a bottle of wine ( or a bottle of Jager, to each their own), the answer may have been discovered in France.

The French have contributed greatly to the culture and style of our world. They given us the beret, the croissant, Champagne and now they are giving us men. The French dating website AdopteUnMec.com (that’s Adopt-a-Guy, for those of you whose high school French has gotten rusty) is a virtual man boutique designed to bring love into a woman’s life. It is a fun and playful alternative to traditional online dating sites. Men “sell” themselves online with stellar profiles. Women “browse” the “merchandise” looking for the perfect man to purchase in the “market of love.” The shopping terminology used by the website is suppose to induce a cheeky, fun way to help women match up their interest to find a compatible dating partner!

The Fun Continues with Pop-Up Stores

Is Le Geek you style of man? Photo Courtesy of digitalspy.com

With a reported 300 million page views a month, the website decided to exploit their online fame by debuting their Adopt-a-Guy pop-up shop in Paris on September 11. The pop-up shop puts real men on display in Barbie doll-like boxes for women to walk among, snap pictures, and share some laughs with their girlfriends. The men, not actual eligible bachelors, but male models paid to pose like “Mr. Muscle” and “Mr. Rocker” patiently pose in the confines of their life-sized boxes smiling for the lovely ladies and collecting their pay at the end of the day for a job well done.

The pop-up shop is will begin a 10 city tour after leaving Paris in order to promote the Adopt-a-Guy website and the services that it offers to single women.

Will Controversy Follow the Pop-Up Store Tour?

Mr. Muscle creates some drama. Photo Courtesy of Shine Yahoo

Already, critics are in an uproar claiming exploitation. These critics of Adopt-a-Guy make a valid point that if women were treated as commodity, publicy displayed and offered “for sale” the backlash against such a company would be inevitable.

In reality, if we take away the pop-up shop promotional tour, we are left with a dating website. The website appears to be no different than other online dating sites. Of course, the site is entirely in French, so my expertise here is limited. It seems to me that the concern about the website may lie more in the terminology used which makes it sound as if men are being bought and sold like cattle. Supporters of the website say that the sales terms used are to make the experience light, fun and give women a sense of empowerment.

What do you think? Is this website any different than eHarmony or Match.com? Do the pop-up stores hurt the credibility of the dating website? Do you think people need to have more of a sense of humor? Let us know! We want to hear from you!

Filed Under: Relationships Tagged With: AdopteUnMec.com, searching for a companion, searching for Mr. Right

Online Dating for Women Over 50

September 15, 2012 by Amy Browne Leave a Comment

Older women, who re-enter the dating scene, do not have to worry about the same things they did when they were younger. At this point in their lives, they know what they want out of life. It is their time to do whatever they can to make their lives more fulfilling. They need to get out there and live the life they are entitled too.

More importantly, they know what they want out of a romantic relationship. It is not necessarily about the lust that the earlier relationships were about but about the kindred spirits who share life as it comes. They simply want a man who cares for them as a person, appreciates them, and will take them out to dinner, a movie, or dancing occasionally.

There are eligible widowers and divorced men out there who are looking for the same things the woman over fifty is looking for. The men who have been bachelors all their lives are out there but they are so hard to find.

So where does a woman over fifty find the eligible men who want the same things out of life that she wants? She can find single men in churches, bars, grocery stores and many other places. Some communities have activities where single people can meet other people like themselves.

One way to find eligible men from the comfort of their own homes is to try online dating. This is not as bad as it sounds, and it is perfect for women over the age of fifty.

There are several online dating websites, which cater to women over fifty. They can search for men of a certain type such as hair color, smoker, and other physical attributes. Then if they can see someone who looks interesting to them, they can begin an online conversation with the men. These online conversations, in either real time text or email allow the women to get to know the men better.

When the woman reaches the point of being comfortable with the man, and she feels as if she has a mental connection she can take it to the next level, which is talking on the phone. She can even agree to meet in person to see if there is a connection there.

Online dating allows women over fifty to move into a relationship at their own pace. Women are in control of the relationship at each level. If a man seems not to be their cup of tea, she can block him from contacting with her online or simply quit communicating with him.

For the first time in their lives, baby boomer women can direct their own futures, when it comes to romantic relationships. They do not have to settle for the man who fits into their lives. These women can find a man who appreciates them. Online dating is perfect for women over fifty.

Filed Under: Relationships Tagged With: Baby boomer dating, dating online

Covert Ways To Tell If Your Man’s Cheating

September 13, 2012 by Amy Browne 102 Comments

Is your man cheating on you? Some are quite sneaky about it. They hide it well and some are quite ignorant about it. The ignorant cheaters leave signs all over.

The Cell Phone

Does he lock his cell phone? If he is locking the phone, without a doubt he has something to hide. The ignorant ones will lock it. Even leaving the cell phone unlocked does not mean he is not cheating. The smarter ones will learn how to erase text messages and calls if they want to leave the phone unlocked to play innocent.

The Bank Account

Does he grab the bank statement when it comes? Does he insist on handling all the bills himself? Both are actions, which require some serious thoughts on your part. If you are in a committed relationship, you should have an idea where the money is going. This is especially true if you are helping to make money, which goes towards the household. If you think, he is hiding something he most likely is. Do you really want to work overtime so he can purchase some other chick some sexy lingerie?

His Mood

Is he suddenly happier? Is he eager to get out the door to go do something by himself? If your intuition tells you that something is up, listen to it. If you have lived with him for a while then you know how his mood changes after he is laid, and he is in that mood although the two of you have not slept together in a while, he is cheating.

His smell

Is he buying new clothes or trying new cologne? Those are sure signs but also be on the lookout for other things. Does he suddenly smell like coconut shampoo? If you do not have that type in the house you share with him, he is showering elsewhere. Honey he is cheating.

Even if he does not smell freshly showered, there may be the smell of another female on him. It might even be some other telltale sign such as a candle within her home or worse yet the smell of lube for sex toys.

Some men cheat. That is an unpleasant fact. Listen to your intuition and examine him a bit closer if you feel he is cheating. Chances are your institution is correct. Most likely you have done nothing wrong to cause him to cheat, some cheater just enjoy the thrill of the chase.
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Filed Under: Relationships Tagged With: cheating on wife, lieing men, unfaithful men