7 Outrageously Inappropriate Pumpkin Carvings

Come on. . . You know you want to look!

Halloween means pumpkin carving time. Trunk or treat, trick or treat or outrageous, over-the-top Halloween parties constantly challenge my husband to come up with unique, intricate pumpkin designs. Which is why, against my better judgement, I decided to Google pumpkin images last night. Holy hell! What I found made me blush, cover my eyes and wish I hadn’t been Googling while eating.

None of these pumpkins are going to make it to the final rounds in our household, but I had to take a moment to share them with you. Who knows? Maybe you are a little more adventurous or, let’s face it, just a little off your rocker to be completely on board with these ideas.

1. It’s a Full Pumpkin Moon!
dirty ideas for pumpkin carvings

Photo courtesy of http://socsecnews.blogspot.com

2. This Drunk Pumpkin Can’t Hold His Liquor
clever pumpkin carving ideas

Photo Courtesy of community.charter.com

3.  Why Does Halloween Bring Out the Rage?

artsy pumpkin designs

 4. Slow Night in Labor and Delivery

pumpkin carving ideas

 5. Brains Anyone?
cook pumpkin design ideas

Photo Courtesy of blue-kitchen.com

6.  This Makes You Rethink Pumpkin Pie.

crude pumpkin carvings

7. Stay Classy

sexy pumpkin carving designs

You Know Your House is Dirty When . . .

10 Signs You Know It’s Time to Clean Your House

House clean upWhen fall approaches the crisp weather and bright sunny days beckon you to abandon the indoors to play in the sunshine. Taking advantage of the beautiful weather makes sense because winter’s bone-chilling temperatures are not that far away forcing us to become winter hermits. But when we abandon our homes for outside adventures, we typically abandon our housekeeping duties as well.

We are going to play a little game today. This game is called You Know Your House is Dirty When. Come on! Do not deny that you have never let life get so crazy that your home hasn’t turned into a disaster that needs immediate attention. It happens to all of us. Honestly, I should be cleaning right now. Instead, I am going to procrastinate and play this little game. Here we go! Have you noticed any of these top 10 indicators that you need to clean your house?

1. You know your house is dirty when . . . You turn off your ceiling fan and discover a four-inch layer of dust on the blades.

2. You know your house is dirty when . . . The walls are beginning to form a formidable dust bunny army.

3. You know your house is dirty when . . . You have to run the vacuum in the same room 3 times and empty the canister just as many times before your carpet begins to resemble something decent.

4. You know your house is dirty when . . . You discover your kitchen tile is not actually a dingy shade of gray, but really a sparkling white. Who knew?

5. You know your house is dirty when . . . Your dog refuses to eat off the floor.

6. You know your house is dirty when . . . Your neighbor actually accepts your apology for a dirty house. They aren’t even going to pretend to not notice and play nice. They deserve that apology.

7. You know your house is dirty when . . . You have more fruit flies than fruit.

8. You know your house is dirty when . . . your shower becomes a receptacle for used razors, tiny soap remnants and empty shampoo bottles from months ago.

9.You know your house is dirty when . . . Your kitchen counter is not longer visible beneath week old school papers, last week’s dishes and other unexplainable items that no longer resemble products known to man.

10. You know your house is dirty when . . . Your teenager begins to suggest a family cleaning night.

Have you been so busy that you have neglected your home? How do you know when it is time for major cleaning attack?

Desirable Honeymoon Locations for Newlyweds

I am not going to tiptoe around it or sugar coat reality, planning a wedding is a hellish nightmare. When the engagement ring slips over your finger any excitement about a picture-perfect wedding usually dissolves when the wedding plannning begins. Your honeymoon is about more than celebrating your new life together. It is about recovery. Here are ten exquisite honeymoon destinations that provide relaxtion, adventure and romance.

Tortilis Camp, Kenya
Tortilis Camp, Kenya getaways

Photo of the Private House deck, courtesy of Tortilis

What better way to recover from months of wedding planning than sipping champagne on the deck of your own private house on the Tortilis Camp property with gorgeous views of Mt. Kilimanjaro in the distance. Um, nothing! Don’t forget to plan a little adventure, too. The Tortilis Camp offers world-famous safari tours.

Provence, France
Provence, France get aways

Lavender and Sunflower fields of Provence. Photo Courtesy of John Miller.

When considering a honeymoon in France many people immediately assume Paris is the way to go. However, consider an inland honeymoon to the south of France, specifically the region of Provence. Provence is a tapestry of medieval beauty among  fields of sunflowers and lavender.  Wine lovers will be treated to exceptional regional wines cultivated from the grapes found in the endless vineyards that create a beautiful landscape.

Santorini Island, Greece
Santorini Island, Greece getaways

Photo courtesy of Travel Guide Greece.

While you may be beginning your future as a newly married couple, exploring the rich history of the Greek Isles is as romantic as you can get on a honeymoon. Crystal blue waters, amazing food and a welcoming atmosphere will beckon you to leave your honeymoon suite at least once in a while.

The Alps, Switzerland
The Alps, Switzerland trips

Photo courtesy of Weddings and Flowers

While some couples prefer a tropical honeymoon, snow bunnies may prefer a Swiss honeymoon where they can ski picturesque slopes during the day and warm fires for nighttime snuggling. St. Moritz, Switzerland, pictures above, is famous for its honeymoon ski resorts.

Istanbul, Turkey
Istanbul, Turkey vacations

A stunning honeymoon destination

Why be like everyone else? Take a chance and spread your traveling wings. A trip to Istanbul, Turkey is an exotic way to spend time together as newlyweds. Rich in history and luxury, Istanbul will not disappoint.

Thailand trips

Photo Courtesy of The New Indian Bride

Who says luxury honeymoons are only for the wealthy? Thailand is an affordable honeymoon destination for the average newlywed couple. You may not be able to land digs quite as luxurious as the one pictures above, but clean properties with Western amenities can be found at reasonable prices. Don’t forget to indulge in the local cuisine and, just maybe, catch an elephant ride or two.

These six honeymoon destinations are incredible, but are you a couple who prefers to keep in simple and stay stateside? No fear. Our Top 10 list of desirable honeymoon locales continues with four spectacular locations in the United States. Read here for our final four desirable honeymoon locations.

Four Romantic USA Honeymoon Locations to Relax and Rejuvenate

Previously, we brought to you six out of ten desirable honeymoon locations for newlyweds: Kenya, Provence, Switzerland, Turkey and Thailand. However, we recognize that some newlyweds prefer to stick closer to home within the borders of the United States. Here are four unexpected places to visit on your honeymoon that will afford you memories to cherish.

Mystic, Connecticut
Mystic, Connecticut trips

Photo Courtesy of Destination I Do Magazine

Some people may only connect Mystic to pizza thanks to one of Julia Robert’s first films about a pizza joint called Mystic Pizza. However, if you and your groom enjoy the water and are looking for a charming location to forget about the rest of the world for a few days, this New England town is the perfect place. Here you will find endearing bed and breakfast establishments, family-owned restaurants and enough romantic charm for a three honeymoons. The prices here are reasonable, too. Always a plus, right?

Cumberland Island, Georgia
Cumberland Island, Georgia honeymoon vacations

One of Cumberland Island’s deserted beaches

This remote island off the Georgia coast, accessible only by a daily boat ride, is a remote and relaxing way to spend your honeymoon without interference from the outside world. For true adventurers, you could rough it in the rustic camping areas, but if you prefer your water and electricity try the Greyfield Inn. The only property on the island that offers lodging and really the only place you will find electricity and other amenities. This island is home to feral horses, untouched beaches, plantation ruins and Southern charm.

Napa Valley, California
Napa Valley, California vacation spots

Napa Valley is the romantic honeymoon destination. Photo Courtesy of Napa Marriott.

If your budget will not allow for an Italian or a Provence honeymoon, the Napa Valley is just as spectacular and closer to home. Spend your evenings sipping wine, overlooking rolling hills. Looking for an adventure? Inquire about a hot air balloon ride over the wine country for a different perspective.

Lake Tahoe, California
Lake Tahoe, California vacation spots

Lake Tahoe, California. Photo courtesy of Google Images

The crystal blue waters of Lake Tahoe will trick you into believing you are in a tropical paradise. The mountains and jagged cliffs that rise out of the lake waters are breathtaking. Honeymooning in the winter? Consider adding a ski package to your honeymoon plans. Be sure to find a location with a hot tub to enjoy sizzling nights under the starry Lake Tahoe sky.

So, that’s it! Of course, these locales are only a few of the millions of choices for newlyweds to honeymoon. Where did you spend your honeymoon?

Oh, No You Didn’t! – Top 10 Annoying Phrases

annoying phrases

Every moment, each day of our lives we have the opportunity to be clever. We are presented with situations that could be enhanced by the flavor of our wit and charm. Instead, during those moments when we have the opportunity to shine, we instead fall flat on our faces, falling  short of  our potential genius. We fall back onto tired, cliched statements as dull conversation fillers. Here are ten sayings that should be shelved, boxed away, tossed into the sea of no return. Do you agree?

1. Smile. It’s not all that bad.

A statement usually made by some guy who thinks all women should walk around with fake smiles plastered on their faces. The next time somebody says to me, I swear my response will be, “I’ll smile as soon as you get out of my face. And then, yes, the world will be sunny, jackass.”

2. You know what you should do . . .

Ugh! Yes, I know exactly what I should do. I should shoot myself in the head to put me out of my misery that will surely accompany the advice you are about to give to me.

3.I’m not going to lie, but honestly . . .

Honestly? If we are going to be honest, the truth is that you are most likely going to lie to my face. This is just your way of making yourself feel better.

4. No offense, but. . . (aka nooffensebut)

If you not want me to feel dejected, assaulted or chastised, then keep your mouth shut.

5. I’m just saying.

This is usually followed by silence. The listener forced to come to their own conclusion. Ah, come on! I don’t want to work that hard. Finish the thought, so I can finish the conversation.

6. My bad.

It IS terrible that you cannot speak proper English.

7. Whatever, I don’t care!

Whatever, clearly you do care! You simply don’t know how to verbalize your feelings, reducing your vocabulary to the size of a plastic Barbie doll.

8. Please. . . (followed by a snort or required eye roll)

Please, what? Please quit talking to you. My pleasure.

9. Let’s do lunch sometime.

My first question is, How do you DO lunch? Second thought, this is a brush-off statement that should be translated as such, “I am tired of talking to you now. I haven’t seen you in two years. I look better than you. I make more money than you and I need a way to end this reunion. I know. I should suggest lunch.” Suggesting lunch is the ultimate reunion, conversation killer.

10.Everything happens for a reason.

Liar! Sometimes life just sucks!

What are phrases, words, or gestures that unhinge you? Better yet, give us your suggestions for some great comebacks or phrases.

Top 10 Billboard Songs Week of August 26, 2012

Need to upload some new tunes for your commute to work? Are you looking you searching for music to add to your Labor Day playlist to help you party this last official week of summer? Look no further. Here the Top 10 Billboard Songs for this past week, August 26, 2012. Any favorites?

1. Taylor Swift – We are Never Ever Getting Back Together (Never Ever)

2. Flo Rida – Whistle

3. Ellie Goulding – Lights

4. Maroon 5 – One More Night

5. fun – Some Nights

6. Carly Rae Jepsen – Call Me Maybe

7. Kate Perry – Wide Awake

8. Maroon 5 – Payphone

9. Owl City & Carly Rae Jepsen – Good Time

10. Justin Bieber featuring Big Sean

10 Things Every Woman Should Know

Important things women should learnWomen are no longer damsels in distress. So, why ignore certain aspects of your life? Women make their own money, lead independent lives and make choices everyday to support their lifestyles and well-being. However, especially women in relationships, sometimes feel there are certain aspects of their life that they don’t need to be in control of. Unfortunately, some of these situations are crucial for women to be more knowledgeable amount. Here are 10 things every woman, single or not, should know how to do.

Change a tire

There is nothing more frightening than to feel stranded. Picking up the phone and calling for help, whether it be from roadside assistance or a spouse, is perfectly fine. But sometimes the only help you may have is to help yourself. Changing a tire can seem impossible, but it is actually quite simple and empowering.

Car Maintenance

Knowing the mechanics of your car like adding fluids, installing a car battery and jumping a car are not secrets only car mechanics know. Learning how to perform minor maintenance on your car will save you time and money.

Read a Map

Yes, we live in a GPS world. But how many of you have been led to a dead-end by a faulty GPS. Reading a map is a lost art. Being lost can be frightening, but if you can read a map you will always be in control of your surroundings.


In a relationship, it seems that there is always one person who is in charge of the finances. If that responsibility does not fall to you, it is vital that you include yourself in money making decisions. If something were to happen to your spouse it is essential that you know how much money is coming in and where it goes when it leaves your bank account.

Track your Policies

This is the same as your daily household finances. Any policies you have such as life, homeowner or automobile insurance, you need to know the specifics of these policies. What is your deductible? How much am I insured for? The more you know the more in control of your life situation you will be.


No need to take a two-year tax certification course. Maybe your spouse takes care of this aspect or even an accountant. You don’t have to take over, but you should take an active interest in what you are paying. Online programs make this simple and quick. If you work with an accountant, schedule extra time so he or she can explain your deductions, taxes owed and any refunds you are getting.


A feeling of safety and security is essential. Enrolling in a basic self-defense class will give you the confidence you need in case you ever find yourself in a threatening situation. Self-defense classes can usually be found in every community and are reasonably priced. These classes teach you to rely on your own strength and less on old-fashioned self-defense tactics like pepper spray, which can backfire and put you in more danger.

Change a Light Bulb

I am not being condescending. I promise. Sometimes we forget to learn the simplest things. This leads me to my next thing to know.

Household Maintenance

There is nothing wrong with hiring someone to fix something for you. Sometimes you cannot fix a problem yourself. But paying someone $75 for a service call on your air conditioner to find out that a dirty filter is the problem can be a hard check to write. Learning to perform simple home fixes like changing an air conditioner filter, knowing where to turn off the water in case there is a leak or fixing a tripped circuit will save you money.

How to Drive a Manual (aka: stick shift)

I have to admit that I do not know how to do this. I never thought it was important, but there are still cars that do not have automatic transmission. There is nothing wrong with learning how to drive a manual. You never know when you may need this lost driving talent.

Top 10 Weekend Blockbusters

Top 10 moviesAre you looking for a surefire way to beat the heat? Sitting in a sub-zero movie theater will do the trick. Does anyone else ever wonder why theaters are so cold? I would love to get a peek at their electric bill.

Anyway, the top 10 movie list of this past weekend is out. Here is how the plotlines rated among movie-goers. What movie sparks your interest?

1. The Amazing Spiderman

Really? Another Spiderman movie? I guess they figure it works and brings in the money. Actually, I hear this one is quite good.

2. Ted

A cute, cuddly bear is anything, but adorable in this adult comedy that features a Bear as one of the main characters. Not sure, I really see the point of this movie. Maybe I should give it a try. I might be surprised.

3. Brave

While I am tired of animated features, this one I enjoyed. I only wish I could speak in a Scottish accent. My Scottish accent sounds more like I am from Mumbai.

4. Savages

The first feature film for John Travolta in two years, couldn’t have come at a worse time for John Travolta. His recent public gay sexual assault scandal has people talking, but then again it can also drive ticket sales.

5. Magic Mike

Not sure how magical the script is. Mainly, this movie is simply for ones’ viewing pleasure.

6. Tyler Perry’s Madea’s Witness Protection

I can honestly say that I have never seen a Tyler Perry Madea production. However, I hear they are hilarious. Anyone see this already?

7. Madagascar 3: Europe’s Most Wanted

Another movie franchise that Hollywood is hoping will bring in big bucks. What do you think? Is 3 a magic number or should they have stopped at 2?

8. Katy Perry: Part of Me

I get Justin Bieber having a movie. The production company wants to cash in on the multitudes of screaming girls who would pay $100 a ticket just to be close to him in 3D. But Kate Perry, really?

9. Moonrise Kingdom

I have never even heard of this animated feature. Anyone else heard of it?

10. To Rome with Love

Again, what is this movie? Never heard the title muttered before.

I hate to sound so cynical about the weekend’s movies, but come on Hollywood! Let’s produce more than two worthwhile shows. I’m just saying . . .

Did you go to the movies this weekend? What are your recommendations?