Four Simple Rules All Daters Should Follow

tips on relationshipsThere are some dating rules that just work for everyone no matter what. You want to know what these rules are so that you can commit them to memory and make sure that you use them at each and every date. These are most important during the earlier stages of dating, but they apply to all dating. Actually, many of these rules can apply to life in general and when followed, can help you to be happier and more appealing to all people.

Don’t be Needy

This should be a given, but the last thing a guy wants is a needy woman. You need to embrace your independence and make it known. Do not be afraid to tell him you are busy on a certain day when you are. He does not want you constantly canceling your plans just to be with him. Keep in mind that he has a life too and will want some solo time with his buddies once in a while too. He also likes when you have your own job and can take care of yourself. Of course guys like to be able to take care of their women, but it is really refreshing when they meet a woman who has it together.

Don’t be Negative

This is not to say that you cannot be upset from time to time when something happens, but if you are constantly negative then you are going to turn off guys in an instant. When you are in the early stages of dating, your new guy wants to get to know you. He really does not care about your friend he has not met, your boss or why you hate your car. He wants to know what your passions are, your values and what you love about life. Of course you can be honest about the fact that you do not like tomatoes, but keep your vents about your boss and frenemy to yourself for now.

Let Him Pursue

Some guys do appreciate a girl that can take charge, but most guys like to be the one doing the pursuing. This is just how humans are and it is not a bad thing. Let him call you to set up the next date and let him make the first major move. Now, you can ask him out and even offer to split the check, but once you get to that date let him decide when he will call you. No guy wants a girl who texts him a dozen times just an hour after their first date. Refer back to not being needy.

Have Fun

Dating is meant to be fun. You are meeting new people and potentially expanding your social circle. This is a good thing. If you are a bit of a dork, let it shine through because he probably is too. Guys like girls who are comfortable with themselves and are able to let go and just have fun. So, smile, laugh, flirt and just be you completely.

Rejection and Dating: Overcoming and Avoiding It

handling rejections when datingIf you are out in the dating world then rejection is going to happen. There is not a single woman on earth with a 100 percent dating success rate. There are ways to deal with rejection that can help you to fair better in future relationships.

Don’t Take it Personally

This can be extremely difficult to do, but it is important. When we have no idea why rejection occurred, it can send the mind into a tailspin. It is important to simply move on to the next person. Think about it. You have one date and it went nowhere. This is just a few hours of your life that you will not get back. You did not spend months or years with the person or really invest anything into them. In a way you can be happy that you learned right away that it was going nowhere so that you have this much more time to find someone that could be your forever someone.

Get Back on the Horse

You do not want to dwell on a rejection because this is not going to get you anywhere. It is really easy to feel bad or run away from other dates, but this will just keep you single. Finding a good partner takes time and this is a good thing because all good things are worth waiting for. You want to take the rejection, put it behind you and get back out there. There are so many people who will think you are awesome – and you are – so do not get caught up in one person not seeing how wonderful you are.

The Wrong People

If you are getting a series of rejections it could be because you are simply targeting the type of person that just does not mesh well with you. This happens and not everyone does well with all different types of people. Look at what you have listed on your dating profile about the type of person you are looking for. You also want to analyze the people you are attracted to in the real world. Are these types of people like you in terms of values, personality type and other important traits? If there is a huge gap, then this could be the problem.

Be Honest

If you are going the online dating route then you need to be fully honest about yourself. Put up a few recent photos so that those communicating with you know exactly what you look like. You want at least one to be a full body shot so that they can see exactly what you look like. Be honest about your values and other important things. Rejection is inevitable if you put out misleading information.

When it comes to dating in person, be very honest during that first date. You do not want to make it seem like you are someone you are not because even if rejection does not occur, the relationship will not work out in the future anyway once the truth comes out.

Dating Mistakes that Single Women Make

common dating mistakesIf you are single you likely go out on the occasional date, but nothing ever comes of it. There are a variety of reasons why those guys never call you after a date. There are some things that single women do that seem perfectly harmless, but they can negatively impact your dating life without you even really realizing it.

You Feel Entitled

Well, a lot of women do. It is common for women to think that they are the best thing since sliced bread – and you probably are – but guys are not too fond of this sentiment. You are a great catch, but when you head out on your date, you need to keep an equal playing field. You need to overlook those tiny quirks in him because they really do not impact you. You also need to consider that your own quirks may not be as cute as you think they are. The key is compromise and opening yourself up to just having a good time.

You Think there are More Fish in the Sea

To be frank, guys just want a woman that they love and that treats them well. Women tend to have lists of dozens of things that they think they need, so they keep going on to the next guy without even really considering the last one. Just like men, your main goals should be to find a guy that treats you well and that you can love. This may sound oversimplified, but it really is this easy. Look at the big picture and realize that the sea is not unlimited.

You are Judgmental

This is a woman thing. Just look at how women scrutinize other women. Well, they go twice as hard when it comes to men. This is where you need to broaden your horizons. Do not think of stereotypes when you hit the dating scene so that you can see the man for who he is and not what he does for a living, what he drives, etc. In fact, don’t even ask about his job before asking more important questions that allow you to get to know who he is, his values and what he wants out of life. Things like his job, car, income and other superficial things will not matter much in the long-term because all of this can change at the drop of a hat.

You Choose the Alpha Males

Look, a hot guy that can pick you up, swing you around and protect you is incredibly attractive. And, many alpha males are great guys, but this is not the only type of guy on the planet. A shy guy may not have the smoothest pickup lines, for example, but he could have a huge heart and treat you like a queen. The geeky guy is sure to keep you laughing so that you always have something to smile about. When you are out in the dating world, think about the kind of guy you would be happy with for the next 20 years and not just next Saturday night.

Common Wedding Problems Solved

tips for perfect weddingThere are some problems that just always seem to crop up when you are planning your wedding. These are things that are often not thought too much about because there are more important things to consider. You want to know how to quickly solve these issues so that they do not escalate and cause even more problems.

Unwanted Guests

When you have a big wedding where everyone and their mom is invited, you are going to end up with a few people that you just do not want there for a variety of reasons. For example, if you have a distant cousin that wants to bring a boyfriend she has been with for a week, you probably do not want to spring for his dinner at the reception. So, say “no” but offer to take them out for drinks when you return from your honeymoon. This is a way to strike balance and still get what you want.

The Toast is Not Going Well

Once the toasts come up, some people are already a bit toasty and this could result in them saying things that are not the most pleasant. It is important to stay cool and just smile. They are toasting you because they truly care about you, so even if it does not come out right, just appreciate the gesture and move on.

Recycle Your Flowers

Your flowers are either going to be thrown away or they are going to fill up your house for a week. There are many places that will take them if you just arrange this ahead of time. Places like nursing homes and hospices will appreciate the fresh flowers so ask around for who would want them and how and when they will come to pick them up.

The In-Laws

Even though you just made a vow that included, “until death do us part” your in-laws may be less than thrilled. Some mother-in-laws are sad to see their son having another woman in his life. It is the ultimate letting go for a mom and you will experience this too if you have a son and he gets married in the future. Be empathetic to her and do not act like she is in the way. While you do not want her stopping by every morning, be sure to have her over for dinner once in a while so that she still has a place in her son’s life.

Thank You Notes

These are things that are often not done, but they are necessary. You can also use email or a quick phone call if you prefer. The key is to let your guests know that you appreciate their gift and presence at your wedding. Do it your way, but make sure it is sincere and timely. For example, plan to tackle this after you return from your honeymoon and not a year later. If you send out cards make sure that they are nice, quality cards and that each have a special message targeted at the person you are sending it to.

Spring Date Ideas that Work for Everyone

Ideas for perfect Spring datesSpring is just around the corner so it is time to start thinking about those springtime dates and how you will spend them with your significant other. With spring weather being sporadic in many parts of the country, you want to ensure that you have a variety of ideas lined up. With a little imagination and creativity, you can take advantage of the springtime weather.

Take a Walk

Not only is this free, but it will give the two of you some time to just chat. Trees and flowers are blooming, birds are chirping and more people are out and about. This is just a happier time of year and a time where you will want to stop and smell the roses, per se. In addition to taking a stroll, you can also plan a picnic at a local park and just enjoy the spring breeze and that freshness in the air.

Sit by the Fireplace

There are going to be spring days that are a bit more blustery than others. If you have a fireplace then this is a good time to turn it on and enjoy the warmth. If you do not, then head to a local cafe for a hot cup of coffee to warm up. Some local cafes also have fireplaces so that you can easily warm up and sit together. Some cafes are really cozy and allow you to find private spots so that you are not surrounded by people.

A Walk in the Rain

Springtime brings with it plenty of rainy days, but instead of focusing on the clouds, take advantage of the fact that the streets are going to be less busy when it rains. Grab some raincoats, rain boots and umbrellas and head out into the rain. You can window shop or head out for a walk in the rain. The cool, clean air is always refreshing and most people will be working to avoid the rain, leaving the parks and streets more empty for the two of you to enjoy.

Movie Day

There are going to be days where it is raining so hard that it is just better to stay inside and enjoy each other’s company. Grab some movies, some drinks and some popcorn and enjoy the dry indoors. If you still want to head out, then head to an afternoon movie. Most people do not go to the movies in the afternoon so you will have the theater almost to yourself.

It’s a Very Hot Day

There are going to be spring days that are very warm and you will want to be outside, but somewhere where you can keep cool. The nice thing about spring is that school is still in session so you can hit the beach in the early afternoon and it will not be too crowded. You can take a walk, have a picnic, lay out in the sun and enjoy the water without much interruption. The key is to go in the late morning and enjoy a few hours before it gets busy in the mid-afternoon.

Online Dating Safety Tips

online dating tipsOnline dating is fun and allows you to meet people that you would likely never meet in real life. However, like most things in life, you know there are some risks involved. People can be whoever they want to be when hiding behind a computer screen so there are some potential safety issues that should be considered when you dive into the world of virtual dating. These risks should not stop you from trying to meet that special someone, but you should be aware of them so that you can always have fun and never get into a bad situation.

Do Not Rush

Those that are legitimately wanting to meet someone for a potential long-term relationship will never rush you. They will want to get to know you by asking a lot of questions, answering all of your questions and wanting to talk online and/or on the phone before heading out to dinner. If someone insists on meeting you right away, it is a good idea to decrease your contact with this person. Since you only know them online, you can easily and safely quit talking to them.

Keep Personal Information, Personal

Things like your email address, phone number and living information should never be shared. Dating websites have ways to communicate so sharing this information on your profile is never necessary. After talking to someone for a while, if you want to step it up a bit and talk on the phone, then sharing this information is fine. However, never share it unless you have been talking to someone for a little while and you personally feel comfortable sharing it. Life is short, but there is no need to rush a potentially good relationship.

No Photo is a Red Flag

Yes, people can steal photos, but things like can help you to determine if the photo is legit or swiped from somewhere on the web. Photos are key when it comes to furthering communication. Then, of course, if the person refuses to share a photo it is time to move on.

Know the Red Flags

Things like displays of anger, disappearing for a while and pushing to meet in person are major red flags. You want to meet someone that is consistent and willing to abide by your rules. Women’s intuition is said to be one of the strongest things in this world, so always stick to it. If you feel something is off, it probably is so move on.

The Meeting

It is inevitable that you will eventually meet someone. First and foremost, never allow him to pick you up. You will meet each other so that neither of you know where the other lives. You also want to meet in a public place. A good idea for a first date is heading out for coffee on a Saturday afternoon. This way it is daytime, there are tons of people around and the date can go as quickly or slowly as you want. You have complete control in this situation. You should also tell a friend or two exactly when and where you are going. This way people know what your plans were and can help out if something were to happen. Also, always carry a cell phone and have it within quick reach.

Tips for a Date-Worthy Dating Profile

online dating tipsIf you plan to give online dating a try you need a profile that is honest and stands apart from the rest. While less is more for most things, this is not the case for your dating profile. You want to pique the curiosity of those that come across your profile. There are some tips that you must employ to do this.

Be Specific

The whole point of online dating is to meet people that you will be interested in. While you will inevitably end up with some duds, if you are clear about what you want you are more likely to get more dates that fit your needs and wants. For example, if you want someone that has at least a Bachelor’s degree then do not be afraid to state this on your profile. The same goes for specific religions, age ranges and other criteria that you are pretty specific about. Put your most important needs and wants first so that they are easily seen. Now, things like height and weight are not necessary because this just limits you way too much. There is a balance here, but you can strike it by sticking to listing the specifics that will truly matter in a long-term relationship. Eye color is not going to make someone a bad fit, for example.

Honesty Always

When you are dating you should always put quality above quantity. If you are honest about who you are then this will likely always ring true, but this is a good thing. Now, while you will be honest in telling who you are this does not mean that you should display every single detail of your life. This can certainly be a tricky balance. The key is to put out there what most people know about you. Save the things that only your best friend knows for a guy that ends up turning into a long-term, trusted relationship. You want to share things like your major, what you enjoy, if you have kids and what your motives are in dating.

Your Headline

This is your first impression so you must put some thought into it. An interesting song lyric is not a bad idea if the lyric says something about you. It will also help to attract those that you at least have music in common with. A quote that means a lot to you is also a good choice. This shows your more thoughtful and spiritual side. On the spiritual note, use a bible quote if there is one you really like and religion is important to you. Use your imagination and be creative.

Tone of Your Profile

First and foremost, be positive. Next, you must use proper spelling and grammar. With all of the spell and grammar checkers available online there is no reason to have mistakes in your profile. Plus, mistakes can detract from who you truly are.

You also want a recent picture where you are smiling. Your full face should be showing so avoid sunglasses and sideways photos.

Five Work Rules Every Woman Must Break

top work rules for womenSo many women see the keys to success as being on time every day, not getting emotional and keeping her head down and mouth shut. While this will allow you to keep your current job, it is not going to help you work your way up the career ladder. There are a few career rules that really no longer apply and should be broken by women who wish to get ahead.

Never Speak of Emotional Topics

Well, this was right in the 1980s, but now that women are gaining more and more recognition in the work place, it is perfectly acceptable to discuss more emotionally-charged topics. If you have an opinion you should make it known and do not be afraid to express exactly why you feel this way. This also applies to reigning in things that could potentially become a big issue in the future. For example, if you are in a position of power and make a decision that impacts everyone under you and this upsets a lot of people, you should allow them to express why this upsets them. Then, explain very honestly why you made the decision you did and be empathetic to their concerns.

Stay Put

Some women love what they do and do not want a promotion. In a society that seems to thirst for power, money and responsibility this is pretty much taboo. However, if you like where you are and prefer a more linear career path then stick with it. This will show that you have staying power and can commit to being the best at what you do. So, if you choose to change your mind and want a promotion in the future, staying put for now could actually work to your benefit.

Look at the Bigger Picture

While you will do your job, do not hesitate to look at your company as a whole. You may come up with something that could improve your company and how it does things. This is never a bad thing. Now, if you are slacking in your duties to do this, there will be a problem. However, as long as you are keeping up with your job then there is no rule that you cannot contribute to other areas of your company too. Just be careful not to step on toes. You want as many allies as possible if you are seeking to be promoted in the future. Having enemies will almost always come back to bite you.

Don’t Live at the Office

You can have a personal life and career success at the same time. Society knows that women are not one-trick ponies and that you have friends, family and other interests besides climbing the career ladder. 20 years ago, women were expected to give everything to their career if they wished to move up, but this is no longer true. Take a vacation, see your friends and attend all of your child’s school pageants because it actually looks better to bosses that you can juggle so many things.

Simplify Networking

Back in the day, constantly attending work-related functions and taking every opportunity to network was the key to women succeeding. However, social media has made this so much easier and you do not have to be networking 24/7 to succeed. Simple things like re-tweeting and quick coffee meetings are enough to show that you are serious about your career.

Five Tips to Find a Date for Valentine’s Day

finding date for valentines dayNo one wants to be alone on Valentine’s Day, but you are busy and simply have not had time to get out there and meet people. This is something that many women fall victim to and before they know it, they are on the couch with ice cream and Lifetime movies on February 14th. The good news is that even with little time you can have a date on Valentine’s Day.

Speed Dating

Yes, this is cliché, but it is worth a try if it is the weekend before V-Day and you still do not have plans. Most major cities have speed dating events every weekend at area hotels and other public places. You can ask friends or head to the Internet to find events in your area. You may find no one that interests you or you may find more than one. The point is to keep an open mind and have fun with it.

Go Online

You still have time to head to the Internet and sign up on a dating site. It will only take you about an hour to put a decent profile together. Once your profile is ready to go you can fish through the site for people that you are interested in. There are plenty of free dating sites out there if you are short on cash or just don’t want to spend the money for a one-time thing. You are going to get slammed with messages and requests so keep an open mind and keep in mind that you are just looking for a date and not marriage.

Talk to Your Friends

Your friends surely have some single guy friends that you do not know. Do not be afraid to ask your friends to set you up for this one night. Blind dates often get the reputation of always being a disaster, but this is just not true. Many marriages have started out as a single blind date. Plus, even if you do not find your soul mate, you will have a fun evening that you normally would not have.

Just Ask

Is there a guy out there that has had your eye for a while? If so, just ask what he is doing this weekend. If he is busy, then you just move on. If he says nothing then you could end up with a date. Do not ask what he is doing on V-Day as this just generates too much pressure. Just casually asking him what he is up to this weekend takes that pressure off and will result in a much better chance of him saying “yes.”

Wear Something Red

This may sound too easy, but red attracts guys. So, for the next week incorporate red into your daily outfits. Just a scarf, pair of shoes or red necklace is plenty. There was actually a study done on this and women who wore red got more attention from guys. Red is seen as the color of love and when you wear it, you will notice more looks, guys sitting closer and more easily flowing and intimate conversation.

Long Distance Relationships: Tips to Make them Work

tips on long distance relationshipsLong distance relationships often get a bad reputation and are said to never work out. However, with the popularity of online dating increasing every day, more and more people are falling for people who live far away. This is resulting in an increase in long distance relationships. While all will not work out, as is true for any type of relationship, there are things you can do to help ensure that your relationship has the best chance of standing the test of time.

Call Each Other

You should talk on the phone every single day. Think about it, if you live in the same city, you most likely talk every day and this helps to keep things going. However, since you do not see each other often, talking on the phone every day is even more important. Another really good option that you should use when possible is being able to see each other while talking. This is something that most new computers are capable of today. All you need is a webcam and a program for this, both of which are easy to get going, and usually come with new computers, so they are free. You could eat dinner “together” with this, or catch a movie or television show “together” by doing this. This will help a lot when you find that you are really missing your significant other.

Occasional texts and emails are also very helpful. Just a quick, “thinking of you” text can make a world of difference. This can be done in seconds and has been shown really helpful with long distance relationships.

Gifts are Important

This does not mean you need to be spending hundreds every month. A single flower, a lunch or even a home made gift means so much more than a pricey necklace or electronic item. For example, if you know your significant other loves a certain type of wine or coffee, send a bottle or bag. A picture of you two in a frame or even just a card with a nice note are plenty to keep the romance alive. Just like couples who live in the same city, keep the bigger items for bigger things like anniversaries, birthdays or a holiday special to the two of you.

Even Trip Exchange

You are going to see each other at least a few times per year. You want this to be even. For example, your significant other and you need to visit each other and not just one going to the other all of the time. If only one of you is making the trip then this will eventually lead to resentment. If you two decide to go on vacation together, it is a good idea to each pay your own way. This is another way to keep things in the relationship even.

It Usually is not Personal

It is hard to keep an open mind when you and your significant other only see each other a few times per year. It is easy to think that he or she is cheating, losing interest, etc. It is important to not take the occasional missed phone call personally. Of course, if this becomes a frequent habit, then you might want to think about the relationship, but if it has only happened a few times in a year then things are most likely fine and you need to worry less and enjoy all of the good things more.